I am exceptionally good at dealing with stress. By which I mean I completely ignore how dangerous my workload is and then tell everybody I'm fine when I eventually pull through and don't want to die quite so much.
We're still a long way off that end point. One day of magazine production down and all the features are sorted aside from the fact that I don't have a cover photo, which is kind of a big deal. We're pretty much on schedule so I really ought to feel okay.
Except I'm not.
The next thing on our list is laying out the news. As news editor, this is pretty much my job and it will be my fault if we don't pull it off. When I was running my mental calculations last week, I reckoned we'd be absolutely fine for news. I was sort of banking on the others having some short 50 worders though. I assumed that since some of them were struggling for stories, they'd write less. Apparently not. Which means we have one item for the news digest. We need four or five. By tomorrow. And ultimately that's my responsibility.
I also need to flatplan the news but I can't do that until I've read everyone's pieces and I can't do that until people send me them. The lack of control stresses me out even more.
It's at the point where people are telling me to take a break. The downside of this being such a short course is that nobody here knows me well enough to understand how literally impossible that is for me. Fortunately for anyone reading this, I don't have time to explain why; there's too much work to do.