21 January 2014

My weekly whine

Two days into the third week and and the cracks in the strongly veneered surface presented in week one are definitely starting to show. Just as I think I am starting to get a hang on the workload the focus shifts and suddenly I'm drifting again. As I write this I am currently staring at my spreadsheet that I keep to tell me what work is where. In the traffic light system that I am utilising there is currently a lot of amber and the overriding feeling that it could all turn red and the work I have put in just to get on level par will all come crashing down around me.......

However for all the worrying, doubting and general furrowing of brow the information keeps coming and my knowledge base keeps growing. Within 3 days I have gone from someone with a passing interest in cryptocurrency (yes that is an actual word) or Bitcoin, Litecoin and Dogecoin to the layman. I have become a self confessed expert in the field. To the point that I'm already boring people with details about it. And yet there is still more to know and more that i want to know. Even Chuck Norris is getting in on the act!!

I would be lying if I didn't question whether I'm doing the right thing everyday but everyday it gets easier and easier to know that i have never wanted something more or wanted to be around people that are on this course more! Which is good because I'm basically no existent to my old friends so making new ones could well become (yet) another priority....

Then there is the omnipresent fully gown african elephant in the room that is SHORTHAND!!! just as i think I'm catching up with the rest of the group there are 20 new special outline or a different way to write -LY and i fall right back down again! I know that there is no replacement for just putting the time in but that is the one thing that I am constantly running low on. My priorities are always changing and i am constantly treading a piano wire width tightrope between staying on top of everything and collapsing into a foetal shaped heap. 

And yet I'm doing it....barely. But still....I'm making it happen! and in the end maybe thats enough maybe your not meant to sail through everything and your meant to struggle and muddle your way through. Also I'm not gonna lie all the stress, all the work and all the finger chewing nervousness is almost worth it just to see the look your friends pull (on the VERY rare occasion you actually see them) when you tell the the work load you have and things you are doing. It's somewhere in between disbelief, awe and with just a twinge of 'you're absolutely mad'. That might make me self centred and a little boastful but if it gets me through the next 6 weeks....
Thats all from me for the next 11 days and in writing this i feel much better....ohh wait I forgot about my interview!!!! AHHH!!

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